Oh, baby, baby!
We are getting so excited for this little kiddo to join our world. We reference him/her in almost all of our conversations. We usually refer to it as a "her" because we think it's a girl (although we'd be thrilled either way), and Kevin often reminds me that his son is not going to be happy if he finds out we referred to him as a "she" for months of his gestation. About five more weeks until we find out the sex!
My belly is started to show more, and I'm rockin' the bella band pretty much daily now. I'm excited to hopefully start looking pregnant and not fat soon :)
My heart and brain have been on overload lately. They've been overflowing with thoughts and hopes for our life with this little baby, but they've also just been really thinking about my identity lately. I desperately do not want my identity to be found in anything of this world. I don't ever want to be focused on being trendy, or creative, or artsy, or smart, or funny, or or or. Don't get me wrong; I don't think being any of those things is wrong at all. However, when it becomes your focus and your identity and your source of pride, it absolutely is. It seems so easy for me to get sucked into those things. If it's something I enjoy, great, but if it becomes an idol, I don't want anything to do with it. I don't want to be the girl who ____________. If my name is brought up, I want people to know me as someone who loves Jesus and loves His people. I don't want people's first thought of me to be anything outside of that. Again, don't get me wrong; I realize that I am nowhere near that, but Lord Jesus, please continue to transform this heart. It seems like even as a mom-to-be, there are crazy expectations from every angle about how we raise our child and how we live, and if we want a nice home, that means we're wordly and obsessed with money, but if we want to abandon everything and travel, we're irresponsible and unrealistic. Sometimes, I just want to scream at the world to leave me alone. It's in those times, however, that I realize that it's my fault for letting those expectations affect me at all. Hellooooo conviction. Come, Lord Jesus!
what a realization! having that knowledge imprinted on your heart will make parenting so much easier Joelle:O)
ReplyDeletealready i've hit the struggle of choosing what activities etc we want the kids to be involved in, not wanting to stifle them but not wanting the life full to the brim of all the extras you "need" to be well rounded.
when i look at my goals for my babies and remember that as you have said all i really want is for them know God and for God to know them, for His spirit to reign in their lives, it takes away the burden of other's expectations and criticism.
Praying that they are known as Godly kids who care about people.
oh, and i can't wait to hear if its a boy or girl!!!!! names??
ReplyDeletewow love this. that we may be conformed to the image of His Son.
ReplyDeleteThis seems to be the realization of many lately! It's so true! It's incredibly hard finding the balance between desiring to be productive with your time and enjoying fun/unique/creative/different things and not letting it overpower who you really are and your true identity. I think it's a lot to do with the eye of the beholder though. Like if somebody is super creative and artsy and always looks good and is super current...it's so easy for me (us) to assume that is their idol and where their heart is. But really we don't know that! I think the most dangerous thing for me is assuming I know the intentions and desires of others! And instead focusing on myself and my own reasons for loving and doing the things I do.
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad God has given us such a beautiful world with so many different people and different tastes and interests and wonderful music and cool things to enjoy.
Also, I have never thought of you as having an identity as anything other than who you are...a sweet and loving and God fearing woman who happens to be creative and always looks good!
Love you.
-Jos
You are fabulous! I love that we have gotten to hang out this school year and I hope it continues. Thank you for this reminder -- something we all struggle with at times -- it came at exactly the right time!
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