2 Corinthians 4: 8-9 (warning: long post!)

Man.

When it rains, it really freaking pours, huh?

I hate to have that kind of attitude, but sometimes, it just seems so accurate.



Update on the job situation:

The girl who was hoping to take next year off is not going to be able to. Her husband's start date of his new job was pushed back to November which means she has to come back to work. That, in turn, means I have no job.



I went to the school board meeting last night to listen to them officially vote to RIF (a "RIF" is a "reduction in force") 11 teachers, 14 paraprofessionals, and some various other positions. In comparison to many schools in the area, these cuts are minimal. Schools like Alton are cutting 40+ teachers. That, however, doesn't comfort me. I sat in the meeting using every ounce of my strength to not jump up on the table and scream and yell and show them an ultrasound picture of my sweet unborn child whose health insurance they're taking away. Of course, I recognize this is not a direct fault of the school board. Our superintendent went through a presentation of the state's insane financial crisis and showed how much money the state is failing to give us - $1.5 million dollars for next year, the exact amount they're cutting in terms of faculty. Illinois ranks 49th out of the 50 states in terms of receiving their funding from the state. Translation: Illinois sucks at funding its schools. Only 28% ends up back to the school despite the tremendous increase in legal (expensive) mandates the state requires schools to comply with. Insane.



I emailed some insurance agent yesterday to ask her about buying a private policy for us instead of paying $1050/mo for COBRA through the school, and she (nicely) told me that I'm screwed since I'm pregnant. She said individual policies will not cover a pregnancy because it's a "pre-exisiting condition". I was pretty sure that's what she'd tell me, but I figured it was worth looking into.



To give you an idea of the funny (or not-so-funny) way God works sometimes, here's how things have changed in our thinking in the last two months:

• -in January, we were still doing intense house-hunting and planning on buying one as soon as we found the perfect purchase


• -we knew that if we found a house that needed some updating, we could afford to do some.
  
• - we were planning on getting 8k for buying a house thanks to the first time home buyers cax credit
  
• - i was planning on starting grad school at SIUE this summer. the school pays for 3k/year grad school reimbursement. instead, i will be teaching summer school to put more money into savings.


• -we thought we were going to have about 9-10k leftover in kevin's tax account after we paid our taxes, so with that money, we were planning on 1) kevin getting lasik surgery for his miserable eyes, 2) paying off some student loan debt, 3) putting some into savings for the house, 4) taking a trip, 5) giving some to some families at our church.


• -once tax season came, we found out that we were only going to have about 6k left. that is still a nice chunk of money, but at this point, we knew about the baby, so we figured we would just keep it in savings for baby money. kevin suggested we name the baby Lasik, since that's as close as he's "ever going to get to lasik". haha.


• -shortly after, i found out that i was likely losing my job and then found out that our COBRA insurance would be over $1000/mo (on only kevin's income), so any money in savings for a house or our original plans for the tax money now meant for every grand we had in savings, we got one month of health insurance coverage (coverage that we currently only pay $150/mo for through my work).

God must have an interesting sense of humor. Kevin and I keep talking about Proverbs 16:9 that says "A man's heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps." So true. So so so true.

Amidst all of this chaos, God is still so good. Kevin and I have just been clinging to each other and to our sweet Lord to sustain us. God has definitely given us a calmness that I never would have expected in this situation. I cried the day my department chair told me, and I cried leaving the board meeting last night, but there have been no breakdowns and no flipping out.

Aside from the fear of dropping down to one income and either no insurance or insanely expensive insurance, I am so stinking sad. I love my job, and I've always felt so blessed that I look forward to my job and my students. I'm constantly telling Kevin funny stories about school, praying for my students, and thinking about ways to improve my class. The thought of not teaching is heartbreaking to me. Kevin keeps reminding me, though, that God may have plans in store that I would love even more.

So, here's to trusting the Lord.